Men’s ministry in the morning beginning at 8a. This time we’ll flip the Jordan Peterson thing — instead of testing Peterson’s model against Scripture, we’ll test Scripture’s model for manhood against Peterson. Would the hundreds of thousands of men (millions?) attracted to Peterson’s ideas also find biblical notions of manhood compelling? We’ll ask and answer these questions together, beginning with a comparison of Saul and Samuel.
Before I forget, read How Technology is Hijacking Your Mind. This is detailed and clear, written by someone on the inside. A bit terrifying.
I don’t say enough about raising kids; something I need to correct. In the past I’ve said from the pulpit that parents should think of themselves as “raising the next generation of the worshipers of God.” This is a teleology for parenting, an ultimate goal to hold in heart as you go about the demanding work of shaping little humans. The mission is not a culturally-defined success, or wealth, or independence, or even happiness (over which we have very little control). The mission is that they would love the Lord their God with heart, soul, mind, and strength.
As a general rule, kids don’t care what you say. They will be shaped by who you actually are. And (frightening thought) they know, intuitively, who you are much better than you do. This is where Deut. 6:4-9 is crucial. The first command is not “teaching words” but “loving God.” Teaching is crucial, but apart from the love of God you’re just raising little legalists or control freaks or self-worshipers. If your own love for God is weak or conflicted or beset by “the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches” then that’s the kid you are raising — no matter what school you’re sending her to, no matter how carefully you control her friends, books, music, exposure to Hollywood and so on.
The best thing you can do for your kids is pray several days a week, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Ps 139:23-24). When God searches you, you will be humbled. If you are appropriately transparent, which you should be, what your kids will see is a flawed, humble person seeking God. A person who apologizes to the kids when she messes up (which may be frequent), but who is also on-mission week-in and week-out. They will also see God being faithful to you, and to your family, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
I know, I know. You wanted “5 steps to better parenting.” In his final years, J.I. Packer is occasionally doing a talk on godliness. In that talk he stresses that “being precedes doing.” I’m just channeling Packer, and all of Scripture’s teaching on sanctification. If who you are in Christ is what controls your passion, what you do (the 5 steps) will naturally follow. Most people rush to the 5 steps without ever addressing who they are — because the latter is infinitely harder.
Last thought. All through Scripture, literally, there are versions of “you will seek me and you will find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” If you are honest with yourself and God, you will discover the “all your heart” piece frequently deteriorates. Just go to him and ask to be renewed. It’s the best thing you can do for your kids.